Friday, July 28, 2006

getting Jizzy with it

Hi everyone who reads this blog. It's about time for yet another installment in annoying phrases my loud fucking work neighbor says.

Last time you may recall, I mentioned that, on top of daily usage of mindnumbing cliches, grammatical abominations, and irritating catchphrases, my neighbor *always* starts a follow-up phone call with the phrase "I'm just calling to touch base back with you."

every. fucking. time.

Well, finally getting to the subject of my post. Today, he saw someone had a nice suit on a hanger at his desk. He walks up and says:

"So, are you going to.. what do they say? Get Jizzy with it? Get.. Jizzz..? Get.. umm, what do they say? Jiggy? Get Jiggy with it?"

What the...


Monday, July 24, 2006

10 Foods I Miss the Most

This is a "meme"... I got the idea from Shannon, who got the idea from Sher at What Did You Eat?, who apparently the idea from Spicehut.

I got ten, but they are not all things that I necessary *miss*.

OK, I do miss:
1. mac'n'cheese with salsa (it's an amazing improvement, at least I used to think so)
2. tuna helper (lousy taste as a kid, this was my absolute favorite when I was in grade school)

3. King Vitaman cereal (yes that's spelled right)

4. Mondose Pralines Liqueurs (the most amazing chocolate liqueurs. My god... STRONG shots of top-shelf scotch, cognac, gin, etc.. under a hard cookie shell and coated with DARK chocolate... if you can buy these anywhere besides Belgium I'm dying to know!!)
5. Chocolade Kruidnoten (tasty X-mas candy from Holland.. kind of a crunchy gingerbread thing coated with dark chocolate, milk chocolate, or white chocolate.. sensing a theme here?)

I don't miss:
1. cube steak, breaded and fried in oil (why, Dad, why?)

2. scalloped potatoes (bleh)
3. creamed corn (yik)
4. brussels sprouts (the ONLY vegetable I don't like. and it's by a LONG shot)
5. OK, let's see if Scott is reading this blog.. wha's up roomie? Grilled onion and cheese on sourdough. Lots of Plochman's mustard. When I was in a hurry it became RAW onion and cheese on sourdough. Or whatever bread. I made an AWFUL vegetarian.... probably because of all the scalloped potatoes I grew up on.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


First off, thanks to me mates PG & JR for turning me on to these Ricky Gervais Show Podcasts. If you like funny, you owe to yourself to download this stuff, burn it, and listen to it next time you commute, or work at a desk, or jog, or what have you. Don't buy a DVD of the next SNL trash movie at the supermarket... this is on for $5-7 a complete season, and 100 times funnier.

OK, with that out of the way - I bring you... Karl Pilkington!

Karl Pilkington has been described by The Office's Ricky Gervais, as being "either one of the greatest comedy talents of this generation, or a partially shaved monkey that can talk."

I think that might be just about correct.. here’s some samples of Karl Pilkington’s musings. Quotes are very out of context (if you can call it that) and much funnier in the middle of a long protracted explanation, with Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant taunting him. But here you go anyway:

· People who live in glass houses have to answer the door.
· Why is alright to be goin' around going mental with a gun shooting all the monkeys and killin' em? Cuz one day, we're gonna run out.
· What were the things in 'Gremlins' called?
· They say they've got a new pope, he's hardly new is he?
· (On the the evolution of the giraffe): Why didn't evolution give them genes to make them good at carpentry then, so they could build a ladder instead of growing long necks?

and finally, my favorite:
· Knowledge is almost annoying.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Goodbye Syd

Monday, July 10, 2006

much like the bee, it buzzes

So, I'm still trying to get my poor cellphone up and running, but when I put the battery in, all it does is vibrate ceaselessly (and the screen illuminates, saying nothing). And I can't get my sweet sweet Kraftwerk ringtone outta that thing, and onto the replacement.

Oh, trials of the 21st Century.

I guess I should just shut up, as I at least a roof over my head, food to eat, and all that. Oh yeah, and a lovely betrothed! (sigh)

But back to the phone.

I just want a refund for this new monster!! Damn thing was expensive! Anybody have a used one they wanna part with?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

me and the bee


Tuesday, July 04, 2006

check yr pockets!

Don't ever forget to check your pockets when you do the wash.

Yesterday morn, I was rocking the washing m'cheen. True, I heard quite a few more "clumks" than usual, but didn't think much of it.

Wash cycle: clumk clumk.. spin cycle: clumk clumk..

Rinse cycle: clumk clumk.. spin cycle: clumk clumk..

Opened up the m'cheen and starting throwing the clothes in the dryer. And then three blocks away they could hear my bloodcurdling wail:

Now all nice, clean and shiny -- with foggy windows: my cellphone!!!

So, I went and bought a new phone, with the intention of returning it for a refund once I figger out how to make my phone run again. There was me at Binulatti's barbeque, pulling apart my phone so it could air out in the sun. OK, so I was a little obsessed. But then I put it back together again, but no action. No power, nuthin'.

In my frustration, it was just about to become the pallino ball in our game of bocce, but something held me back.

So, anyway, today, back at work.. I put the new battery in to see it would come back to life. Would it still miraculously still have my address book? Turned on the power. And it.. well.. there was some power! Did it work? Welll.....

I guess if I need something that vibrates and has an illuminated (yet blank) display, then yeah it works. Not much good as a phone however.

Maybe it'll work tomorrow. Stay tuned.