Tuesday, April 17, 2007

"10 Most Shocking Moments in Jazz Fusion History"

So, I gotta say. After reading the IMDB entry for "The 100 Most Shocking Moments in Rock and Roll History", I felt that although it's good to compile all that sordid info in one place, we all kinda know that Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire, Iggy Pop cut himself during a show (I thought it was every show, guess I was wrong), and that Boy George came clean about heroine (sic) addiction. Ho freakin' hum.

So! For you 6 or 7 or so readers out there..... I bring you a much less publicized, yet infinitely more pertinent listing of SCINTILLATING musical anecdotes.....

lady and gentleman, I bring you.....

The 10 Most Shocking Moments in Jazz Fusion History!!!

1. Miles Davis abandons hard bop for psychedelicized rock, with "In a Silent Way"

2. Herbie Hancock abandons fusion for proto-hiphop, releasing the album "Future Shock" which utilizes drum machines.

3. Kenny G says that he gets inspiration from nature, and that's what allows him to "play so beautifully."

4. At the height of their popularity, The Yellowjackets break up after 4 immensely lucrative albums, and go back to being individual session musicians (and some back into teaching at Berklee) after some of their songs were featured on The Weather Channel's Local On The 8s. Then they got back together after 5 months and proceeded to release 15 more immensely lucrative records.*

5. Weather Report helps make the jazz club Birdland famous, by writing a song that wasn't at all jazz.

6. Jan Hammer makes the "key-tar" famous, thus bringing frumpy, nerdy, members only jacket wearin' keyboard players to the front of the stage to work out their atrophied "guitar face" muscles.

7. John McLaughlin kicks a roadie in the teeth* for mocking his The Inner Mounting Flame album by saying, "yeah more like 'The Inner Mounting LAME!'" "Punk had it coming," Mr. Mahavishnu correctly reasoned later.

8. Lee "Captain Fingers" Ritenour lays down some smoking acoustic guitar licks on Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb."

9. Pat Metheny grows his famous curly mane out and looking more like a scruffy rock musician than a proper practitioner of fusion.

Mr. Metheny also raises eyebrows by (ackwardly) developing the first jazz fusion/rock/kidney stone guitar face crossover.

10. Moonlighting's Al Jarreau delivers the famous line in USA for Africa's "We are the World" "...and so we all must lend a helping hand."

* Kinda true. Actually more true than not. ** Kinda sorta not really. I TRIED, dudes, I TRIED.


Anonymous Shannon said...

This is brilliant! And I learned stuff!

April 17, 2007 2:36 PM  
Blogger Binulatti said...

Nicely done, pbr.
Although - Pat Metheny's guitar face gives a not so subtle reminder that when using someone's chin as a golf tee, one should really remember to replace their divets. Jeez.

April 17, 2007 3:19 PM  

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