Friday, October 26, 2007

Fred Thompson as newsman Bennet Brauer?

That's right, Bennet Brauer here with another commentary. Didn't think the suits would have me back perhaps. Thought they'd have my dairy-air replaced by one of those cookie cutter store mannequins.

Well, maybe I'm not "the norm"

I'm not "camera friendly", I don't "wear clothes that fit me"

I'm not a "heartbreaker", I haven't had "sex with a woman", I don't know "how that works"

I don't "fall in line"

I'm not "hygienic", I don't "wipe properly", I lack "style", I don't have "self-esteem", I have no "charisma", I don't "own a toothbrush", I don't "let my scabs heal", I can't "reach all the parts of my body", when I sleep I "sweat profusely."

But I guess the powers that be will keep signing my paycheck until Jack and Jane K. Viewer start to go for the remote so they can get back to commentators who don't "frighten children", who don't "eat their own dandruff", who don't "pop their whiteheads with a compass they used in high school"......


Anonymous Shannon said...

Have I told you how much I adore you?

October 26, 2007 10:43 AM  
Blogger Binulatti said...

Hey I heard someone left a box box of campaign contributions for you in a VAN down by the RIVER!

October 26, 2007 12:43 PM  
Blogger Enki said...

that, my friend, was brilliant.

i hope fred goes down in flames. wait, i hope he gets the nomination!

October 30, 2007 6:57 AM  
Blogger Secret Hug Pro said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

November 05, 2007 12:20 PM  
Blogger Secret Hug Pro said...

The GOP candidates sure are a sorry lot. Their only hope is if the public stays focussed on Hilary's laugh, Edwards' haircuts, and Obama's lack of a flag pin on his lapel.

November 05, 2007 12:22 PM  

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