Heaviociously Blogified

NOOOOOOO!

2009-03-26T04:23:00.000-07:00

N O O O O O O O !

(Ripped off from metafilter)

Uh oh.

2008-11-15T14:06:00.000-08:00

YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN

2008-11-05T15:03:00.000-08:00

Russia has invaded Georgia (for peanuts, apparently?)

2008-08-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

File this in the "making light of a serious situation dept..."

quote of the week:

"i herd on the news that rusia has invaded but i dont see them no where wats going on."
- Jessica B., Georgia

this link from Valleywag explains the Journalistic mishap, if you are into checking the sources of things:

Google News informs us that the Russians are invading the South

I survived 37 minutes of Television

2008-08-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

I turned on TV last night, and caught a little bit of

I Survived a Japanese Game Show!

Fucking awesome. I want more!

To win the SUPER-MAJIDE (which loosely translates to Super-You've-Got-to-be-Crazy!), dudes had to sit in high-speed spinning chair for a minute until they can barely stand, get on a tricycle and cross an impossibly narrow catwalk over ice cold water (they both fell in), sit on and break six giant eggs by sitting on them... then, covered in fake eggyolk.. crawl through an area filled with FLOUR, then scale a sticky wall with velcro hands, slide down a pole, eat three chewy chewy mochi balls, swing Tarzan-style through the correct breakaway door (out of three), and hit the finishing buzzer to win a quarter million dollars. Then you are attacked by the sadistic looking Congratulations Mob -- who look like yakuza gangsters but dressed in white.

It was awesome and I was thinking.. this is the first time in 5 or 10 years that I'm tempted to look up the listings and see when it's on again.

And, of course, it's all over.

Damnit!

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro pbrchicken

2008-06-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

First I must apologize to Westering Hills' recent serious attempt of eating more holistic food, her famous Eat Real Food Challenge, which was inspired by Michael Pollan's book “The Omnivore’s Dilemma.” God bless her, this topic has very little to do with that particular noble quest... although it should be just as fun. And maybe more painful.

I've decided to undertake my own food challenge, which I will call the "Eat Hot Food Challenge." I have been noticing that my scoville unit tolerance has drastically dropped of late. A little dab of something I used to be able spoon up by the teaspoon has increasingly become akin to french kissing Satan after a night of drinking tequila.

It's gotten to the point where just a little dab of Sriracha sauce makes me sweat bullets, and I wince as I feel my tongue and palette blister up like Clint Eastwood's lips in "The Good the Bad and the Ugly."

Professor Scoville would be so ashamed.

"tut tut"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This needs to stop.. so I hereby endeavor to undergo two solid weeks of heavy hot sauce usage, and reclaim my past ability to weather the concentrated capsicum carnage I do enjoy so much.

Where was I, oh yes the scoville units.. I don't know how many per day.. why don't we set it at about 500,000 per day to start...

And so it begins -- "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro pbrchicken" (The Mysterious Voyage of pbrchicken)

Wish me luck!

Remember -- ¡CERVESA, Si! ¡AQUA, no!

back from tour..

2008-03-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

I'm not normally a stout drinker... hey, I didn't mean it that way! I mean the type of beer! Sheesh.. but a properly poured Murphy's on a night boat from Ireland to France, at sundown, was a nice wrap to the best European tour my band has had to date. This was courtesy of a gift card given to us by my groovy groovy dad. Cheers.

Then I saw Juno alone in the upstairs cinema (which ruled - movie and theater alike), and went down for more pints, and tried my damndest to understand a weird ass game on TV. WTF? Something about wickets and crickets and bowlers and batsmen..

This has nothing to do with our rock tour. Oh well. It was fun... and I didn't undergo any indignities this time so I'm happy.

There's other photos of the fun here if you are so inclined.

Idiocracy in Motion

2008-02-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

Most people haven't seen Idiocracy, the mildly funny, future shock film by Mike Judge about the de-evolution of the human brain in America, and society is dumbed down to the point where they use sports drinks on their crops. Now, I'm not too sure I want to recommend it. But he's proving to be correct at least on the future of coffee shops. This 19 second clip sets the scene.

A "Chicka Latte" stand just opened up across the street from my work on Aurora Ave. While before I didn't see anything wrong with it, I now believe that "hot chicks selling coffee" is way too much of a crass enterprise now...... contributing to the already pandemic pollution of our collective unconsciousness, and I would like to formally switch over to westering hills's side of the debate, if I may.

You win, in a big way.

Seriously, big fuckin' ew. I mean selling with sex is as American as chewin' on a Big Mac while driving a pickup truck to the mall to get shoes at Foot Locker. But it's worse than I thought. It's like a cross between being a stripper and working at Chotskies...

I think this is the manager.

Look, we want you to express yourself, ok? If you think the bare minimum is enough, then ok. But some people choose to wear less and we encourage that, ok? You do want to express yourself, don't you?

According to their creepy website, which I'm questioning my wisdom for checking:

All baristas receive a generous uniform allowance. Upon being selected as a ChickaLatte Beautiful Coffee barista, you can choose from a wide array of outfits that best reflects your personality.

I'll spare you the pix, but think Frederick's of Hollywood or Lover's Package.

Soldier Girl 3-pc. Shorts Set

Football Girl - This Tight End is quick to make a pass and loves to huddle...

Police Officer Uniform 8-piece set, Includes Policeman's HAT, Stretch Spandex zipper front Policeman's JACKET, SHORTS, police HANDCUFFS, black police BELT, police officer BADGE, WALK-TALKIE and Police Officer's BATON...

I think I'm going to join the Republican Party now. Wait. Ohhh shit.

it gets worse......

STARS and STRIPES
Tri Top and Hip Hugger Sets

Blue tri top with white stars and stars and stripes hip hugger booty shorts...

get out of my brain (and outta my car)

2008-01-29T09:39:00.000-08:00

Why in the fuck do I have "There'll be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)" in my head. Why why why. Billy Ocean is not being paid royalties.. there's just no reason for it except to piss me off.

I think I need to have a sit down with Oliver Sacks or something to explain my brain to me. Or at least be able to discuss the songs on my intracranial jukebox.

In the meantime. Help!

And Billy, even though you (admittedly) look cool these days, I swear... one day you will pay.

M. Night Shymalianian's new heartpounding plottwisting epic

2008-01-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

Propaganda is the word

2008-01-02T12:37:00.001-08:00

Rant alert. Sorry in advance everyone.

Thinking about seeing a movie? A buddy of mine just went out to see "I Am Legend" a couple days ago. Which he said was okay and all, but BEFORE the movie... apparently the theatregoers were forced to see this National Guard tribute, which is supposedly a "video" of the song Citizen Soldier by the band 3 Doors Down.

Take a look... it's just battle scene reenactments from all of America's wars with superimposed slogans that say things like "I will never accept defeat" and "I will never leave a fallen comrade" etc etc.

http://www.1800goguard.com/movie/index2.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJRthpxDM10 (this is actually shorter than what's in the theatre)

It's not a video. It's not even an ad. It's strictly a propaganda piece, and it's sick. He was pissed, and rightly so. People were booing at the screen. And he thinks that people should demand a refund if they are made to sit through that massacre of imagination.

Apparently, he's written to AMC Theatres to complain. I think they should be boycotted until they stop forcing people who paid money to see a film to sit through a long diatribe on heroism in battle.

And 3 Doors Down should stop playing music, write their last wills and testaments, and go to the front line NOW.

Sorry about the rant! I return you to regularly scheduled (media consolidated) program.

Fred Thompson as newsman Bennet Brauer?

2007-10-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

That's right, Bennet Brauer here with another commentary. Didn't think the suits would have me back perhaps. Thought they'd have my dairy-air replaced by one of those cookie cutter store mannequins.

Well, maybe I'm not "the norm"

I'm not "camera friendly", I don't "wear clothes that fit me"

I'm not a "heartbreaker", I haven't had "sex with a woman", I don't know "how that works"

I don't "fall in line"

I'm not "hygienic", I don't "wipe properly", I lack "style", I don't have "self-esteem", I have no "charisma", I don't "own a toothbrush", I don't "let my scabs heal", I can't "reach all the parts of my body", when I sleep I "sweat profusely."

But I guess the powers that be will keep signing my paycheck until Jack and Jane K. Viewer start to go for the remote so they can get back to commentators who don't "frighten children", who don't "eat their own dandruff", who don't "pop their whiteheads with a compass they used in high school"......

since obstensibly this blog has reference to Jim Morrison

2007-10-02T00:54:00.000-07:00

This must be posted on this award winning blog of mine. It's a recruitment film for Florida State University featuring a 20-year old Jim Morrison. This is crazy to see little Jimmy, but he already had that charismatic and drawling croon to saying shit. And in this particular context, that of "gosh, Mister!" curious Jimmy, it's really a bizarre clip to behold. Considering six years later he'd be back in Florida exposing himself and that created a mess that they are even today working on posthumously pardoning him for. Anyway, the video:

and Jud, remember what Jim says,
I woke up this morning and got myself a beer
the future's uncertain and the end is always near.

I never realized how tribute you pay to JM when I see you crack it open at the crack of dawn. Nice one, cheers to you. Jim would be proud.

I won a webby!

2007-09-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's taken me so long to write about it, but I've misplaced the award and was even considering not announcing it. Then I decided to have some iced cream. Remember this next time you buy: Price is a consideration, it's not a criteria. Say it with a Boston accent and it'll make more sense.

Lee Hazlewood: 1929 - 2007

2007-08-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

Dead & Gone: Lee Hazlewood (1929 – 2007)

Cake, Death, and a Requiem for One of the Greats

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kiss all the pretty ones goodbye
Give everyone a penny that cry
You can throw all my tranquil' pills away
Let my blood pressure go on its way
For my autumn's done come
My autumn’s done come.
(Lee Hazlewood, My Autumn’s Done Come)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'Why do they call the steak Sinatra, the hamburger Hazlewood?'
(from the song 'Stone cold blues' by Lee Hazlewood)

stoned baseball - Ray vs. Ichiro

2007-06-13T09:29:00.000-07:00

ray gets sort of stoned

ichiro gets hell of stoned

"My knee is still my knee, my knee is not my butt."

I'm home!

2007-06-08T11:36:00.001-07:00

P1000920
Originally uploaded by pbrchicken

The packing peanuts were probably a little unnecessary.

Thanks guys. You shouldn't have.

I will be insane after the month of May

2007-04-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

This is crazy... we are going on tour with the band Tool.... and these places are big!

Anyone know a place to crash in any of these cities?

Bossier City (Shreveport), Louisiana might be tough...... how about Corpus Christi?

30 Apr Reno , NV - Reno Event Center
02 May San Diego, CA - Cox Arena
03 May San Diego, CA - Cox Arena
05 May Las Cruces, NM - Pan American Center
06 May Tucson, AZ - Convention Center Arena
08 May Albuquerque, NM - Tingley Coliseum
09 May Colorado Springs, CO - World Arena
11 May Wichita, KS - Kansas Coliseum
12 May Council Bluffs, IA - Mid America Center
15 May Southaven, MS - DeSoto Center
16 May FT. Worth, TX - Ft. Worth Convention Center
17 May Bossier City, LA - Centurytel Arena
19 May Oklahoma City, OK - Ford Center
21 May San Antonio, TX - AT&T Center
22 May Corpus Christi , TX - American Bank Center
24 May Baton Rouge , LA - River Center
25 May Pensacola , FL - Pensacola Civic Center
26 May Birmingham , AL - Verizon Wireless Music Center

it's Caturday...

2007-04-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

...so here are some LOL CATS for U.

COMIN' ATCHA!!!!!!!

DIS KITTEH HAZ A SEKRIT

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE NEXT ONES AREN'T MINE BUT WHO CARES? THEY RULE.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

CHOMP..... PLECH!

DOOD!

last one... from Monkeyfilter:

Do you expect me to purr?

"10 Most Shocking Moments in Jazz Fusion History"

2007-04-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

So, I gotta say. After reading the IMDB entry for "The 100 Most Shocking Moments in Rock and Roll History", I felt that although it's good to compile all that sordid info in one place, we all kinda know that Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire, Iggy Pop cut himself during a show (I thought it was every show, guess I was wrong), and that Boy George came clean about heroine (sic) addiction. Ho freakin' hum.

So! For you 6 or 7 or so readers out there..... I bring you a much less publicized, yet infinitely more pertinent listing of SCINTILLATING musical anecdotes.....

lady and gentleman, I bring you.....

The 10 Most Shocking Moments in Jazz Fusion History!!!

1. Miles Davis abandons hard bop for psychedelicized rock, with "In a Silent Way"

2. Herbie Hancock abandons fusion for proto-hiphop, releasing the album "Future Shock" which utilizes drum machines.

3. Kenny G says that he gets inspiration from nature, and that's what allows him to "play so beautifully."

4. At the height of their popularity, The Yellowjackets break up after 4 immensely lucrative albums, and go back to being individual session musicians (and some back into teaching at Berklee) after some of their songs were featured on The Weather Channel's Local On The 8s. Then they got back together after 5 months and proceeded to release 15 more immensely lucrative records.*

5. Weather Report helps make the jazz club Birdland famous, by writing a song that wasn't at all jazz.

6. Jan Hammer makes the "key-tar" famous, thus bringing frumpy, nerdy, members only jacket wearin' keyboard players to the front of the stage to work out their atrophied "guitar face" muscles.

7. John McLaughlin kicks a roadie in the teeth* for mocking his The Inner Mounting Flame album by saying, "yeah more like 'The Inner Mounting LAME!'" "Punk had it coming," Mr. Mahavishnu correctly reasoned later.

8. Lee "Captain Fingers" Ritenour lays down some smoking acoustic guitar licks on Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb."

9. Pat Metheny grows his famous curly mane out and looking more like a scruffy rock musician than a proper practitioner of fusion.

Mr. Metheny also raises eyebrows by (ackwardly) developing the first jazz fusion/rock/kidney stone guitar face crossover.

10. Moonlighting's Al Jarreau delivers the famous line in USA for Africa's "We are the World" "...and so we all must lend a helping hand."

* Kinda true. Actually more true than not. ** Kinda sorta not really. I TRIED, dudes, I TRIED.

why is Elton John trying to look like Baby Bird?

2007-04-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

Sir Elton John

Stephen Jones, aka Babybird

new links!

2007-03-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

OK, so I rarely post anymore.. I have no excuses... other than the fact that it would take away time spent reading other blogs more interesting than mine.. now, that's a copout!

however! At least I should share some of these great blogs I've been reading with y'all. Check out my new "Gods of Musik Blogs" section. That whole world of sharing music online is pretty amazing... the passion of these vinyl hounds gone digital never fails to impress me. Let's see.. if I live to 60 (hmmm.. that'll be 2029) so yeah, maybe I'll get through all this material by then.

And also, welcome to the blogwood cabin, Secret Hug Pro !!!!

and the Winner is....

2007-02-26T10:11:00.000-08:00

And the Golden Raspberry Awards winner for the year is...

BASIC INSTINCT 2 (a.k.a. Basically, It Stinks, Too)

the nominations.
the awards.

Many feel that Sylvester Stallone (thirty nominations and ten wins) was snubbed for another apparent Razzie Award winning turn in Rocky Balboa (he comes out of retirement because he heard from a dude that his "X-box Rocky" beat the heavyweight champ), but you can point to his four other honors for this remarkable achievement: Rhinestone (1984), Rambo: First Blood Part II AND Rocky IV!! (1985), Rambo III (1988) and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! (1992) ... his last major snub came with 1987's Over the Top, for his portrayal of trucker Lincoln Hawk who loves his son and his dying wife so he puts on a wife beater and goes to Las Vegas to easily win an arm wrestling tournament (filmed in a series of heart-stopping slow-motion sequences).

And there's my main man, M. Night Sham's much ridiculed Lady in the Water. Damn that guy sucks. Let's make some popcorn, sit down, get comfortable and NOT watch that movie together sometime.

Cool? Cool.

homemade tortillas

2007-02-12T11:57:00.000-08:00

we made some homemade corn tortillas yesterday.

the ensuing tostadas we made were so good that I almost changed this to a food blog today.

but since I would suck at that, let me just say you should try it sometime.

Floyd Standifer - 1929-2007

2007-01-23T15:40:00.000-08:00

The Northwest jazz community will be shedding a lot of tears today.. as Seattle's beloved bebop jazz luminary died Monday. He was 78.

Tonight, Floyd Standifer probably would've played at the New Orleans Creole Restaurant on his regular Wednesday night slot. For those of you who'd never had a chance to see him play, this was a well-loved class act who could light up a room, whether it was with his tenor sax, trumpet, flugelhorn, singing, or just chatting it up between sets - in kind of a barroom philosopher kind of way.

nice Earshot Jazz piece, feature on page 6 (pdf, takes a minute to load)

I'm lucky to seen him play. His style on the trumpet reminded me kind of the warm "hard bop" played by the late, great Clifford Brown... but then he could switch gears and play that lush sounding tenor, or when it was right, a smoky fluid flugelhorn.

RIP Floyd.

BREAKING NEWS - New wave of troops!

2007-01-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

New wave of troops set for Village in Iraq (AP)

White House press secretary Tony Snow conceded that Bush has a challenge in convincing a war-weary public.

These troops are now outfitted in bizarre, fresh new uniforms, almost as bizarre as the promise of a new "Renaissance" in Iraq.

"Turkmenbashi" dead...gold statues live on

2006-12-22T21:52:00.000-08:00

Turkmenistan President Saparmurat Niyazov Dies at 66

At the hazard of kicking around a man after he dies (notice not one peep from me when Pinochet died), where can you start with this dude? I guess... saying he was simply nuts is a good start.

OK, #1 - under his "President-For-Life" rule, it's been illegal to: have beards, play video games, have gold teeth, report the news on TV while wearing makeup, use the internet, hear recorded music, listen to car radios, have a dog, and lip synch.

"save the gold fillings for monuments, of me!"

There's a full list of his eccentric decrees on wikipedia.

#2 - He named cities, amusement parks, the month of January, and astroids (!) after himself. (showing his softer side, he also renamed the month of April after his mother. Aw.). And yes, he had gold statues of himself that rotated so he always faced the sun. The most amazing (and infamous) decision was to have an ice palace built in the middle of one of the hottest deserts in the world, with an aquarium of exotic fish placed at the top. Apparently it was actually built, but this link makes it sound like a regular building. I wish I could find any info on a massive ice structure in the desert... come on internets! Most of the info is from 2004, so maybe the idea.. umm, melted.

"Let us build a palace of ice," said President Niyazov, "big and grand enough for 1,000 people."

The idea is to build the palace in the Copa Deg Mountains outside Ashgabat, now baking in the summer heat, with a long cable-car running up from the city.

"Our children can learn to ski," Mr Niyazov enthused, "we can build cafes there, and restaurants."

Because, yeah, impoverished people living in the desert are really jonesing for winter sports.

In addition to the ice palace, other plans he had in mind at the time of his death were for "a huge, man-made lake in the Kara Kum desert, a vast cypress forest to change the desert climate, a ski resort and a 40-metre pyramid."

"I hope that when you celebrate my life there will be no recorded music. Or dogs."

Vive l' Françoise!

2006-12-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

OK, not all of Françoise Hardy's repetetoire is great... and many others have pointed out her limitations, but man this song just kills me. How sweet are the lyrics?*

I really wonder if one can not be in love with her. Plus how cool was it to have long hair and jeans in the early sixties, when it was all about the beehive & goofy looking dresses. OK, so the mini-skirt was cool, but I digress.

Yeah, and she could rock the chaps:

Face it, she's cool.

Well... if you are not molten yet, you will now melt:

*translated to English. There's also an English version, which I can't find a video for, sadly.

best drum solo evah

2006-12-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

fell off a bit

2006-11-27T09:57:00.000-08:00

So, yeah, turns out that posting a blog every day is pretty hard to do. Especially if you're actually writin' something, as opposed to: copy .... paste .... type "so how 'bout that OJ book / Michael Richards rant?"

I will do seven eventually..... but yeah, when I feel like it from now on.

And no, this one doesn't count.

Filters

2006-11-24T00:03:00.000-08:00

As y'all know, having filters help ya seperate all the wheat from the chaffe. It's all about being discriminating. People usually go too far, however, and say lame stuff like "I don't like country" or "It's got a good beat so I can dance to it."

Sigh. That's missing the point.

Filters should help, not hinder your appreciation for music. Be a gourmet, not a picky eater. Filters should help you take the rough with the smooch... er, smooth.

Take this example. I long time ago, I was reading that Bob Mould had this "what's good and what's bad" thing all worked out. Something like, and pardon the paraphrase, "all the best music combines noise and good melody." And I agreed with him....at the time. What an entirely limiting opinion! But it worked for me at the time, because that's about all I listened to in the early 90's.

God was I a dope.

Much more recently, I was taken to task on being a King Crimson fan, "How can you possibly put up with Greg Lake?" Which is a valid question... same as with a lot of things I like. Just kind of filter out the vocals and enjoy the rest. I love that early stuff, when they just go nuts and do whatever seemed possible to them at that stage. Unfortunately some of that stuff involved crappy lyrics and crappy singing, but I'm not gonna my records just because the dude went on to form ELP.

I mean, or as Karl Pilkington would say, what I mean is, don't be going and throw out the burger just 'cos you don't like the pickle.

Electronic music I like

2006-11-23T12:24:00.000-08:00

Missed one yesterday, so today ya get two!

here are three of my favorite recordings (synthesizer music):

Terry Riley: A Rainbow In Curved Air (1970) - melodic, influential, and SHOCKINGLY GOOD. Sound files on this link.

Mauricio Kagel : Transition (1960) - Completely raw, electronically generated sounds.... non-harmonic tones and non-instrumental qualities. I can't believe it's from 1960!

music for this kinda stuff don't look like this:

it's more like this:

or this:

(It should be noted that I have no idea what any of this means. If you want to your eyes to REALLY glaze over, check this)

Klaus Schulze - ruled the early 70's (late-70's not so good) with a series of great synthesizer recordings. Trippy stuff!

NOSTALGIA - GUILTY PLEASURES VS. SIMPLY DATED

2006-11-21T02:07:00.000-08:00

OK, here we go... number two in a series of seven!

Shannon says I should make this one about the Jingle Cats. Maybe... not this go round.

I'm not pressed for ideas. Yet.

OK, here's my music appreciation blog for today:

The Police = retarded
A-ha = enduring pop gem!

Wait.. wait...let me explain! Nostalgia is Fluff - the question is whether it's got the "right" fluff vs. the "wrong" fluff.

let's try another one.

The Turtles Greatest Hits = a turd.
The Ventures in Space = a gem!

Maybe this is getting confusing...let's try a different tack. All right, when we're talkin' old stuff, I'd have to say that the main question is how well the artist or album has stood the test of time. We all have our different opinions on whether a thing is still good, or whether it's become dated. Particularly devisive issues are the Beach Boys and the Carpenters. I really don't care for either one, but a lot of people seem to writhe around in ecstacy when these musical turd/gems get played.

You see... balancing what you like and what is good for you is everything. Yep. It's the whole music is food thing. Musical attributes are like vitamins, or flavor, or whether it sticks to your ribs, or have lots of sugar for a junkfood fix... on and on. Just like how slobs eat crud, smarties eat nutritious food, and then there's the health nuts that eat cruddy nutritious food (new age or modern fusion would the analogy here).

Let's be like the smarties.

The question is not whether it's a handful of vitamins (like Frank Zappa's symphonic work, or an Anthony Braxton record), or a handful of Jolly Ranchers (say, Chumbawamba's Tubthumper or Kid Rock's Devil Without a Cause), you've gotta really balance what's good and what's good for you.

Or not. Just throw on that same Pixies record you've heard 34,632 times and forget everything I said.

Everyone else join me tonight by watching this amazing clip from the Dead C. Turn those crappy computer speakers all the way up to ten!

Fortifying, yes?

DIG DIG DIG ALWAYS DEEPER DEEPER

2006-11-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

I think this credo pretty much sums up my lifelong modus operandi when it comes to music.

There are always new things to discover. Music from bands I've never heard, and even in albums I thought I knew like the back of my hand. For this reason I listen to Pink Floyd's Piper in the Gates of Dawn several times a year, but couldn't tell you for sure whether or not I own Dark Side of the Moon. I've already devoured that one, yeah-it's-great-and-stuff-but-I-don't-ever-hear-anything-new-in-it-so-stop-it-already. Don't ever make me wallow through that dreary Us Us Us Us And Them Them Them Them And Awwwfter all we only ORDINARY MEN men men men. Give me Syd Barrett singing about either an evil feline, or maybe a particularly wild, groovy girlfriend: Lucifer go to sea. Be a hip cat, be a ship's cat. Somewhere, anywhere. That cat's something I can't explain. OK, enough about Pink Floyd. Maybe I should be talking fellow English psychedelics Soft Machine instead, but I don't wanna lose you. Plus they're hit or miss anyway.

Anyway.

This exemplifies to me why I so often buy, borrow, even steal (damn internet makes a crook outta me sometimes) so much music... and so rarely sell CDs, records, and even those damn cassette tapes. It's like a painful, "what happened", if I look for an album and I realize I sold it. The wretched truth is that I need music around me at all times. Old stuff will do, but something newly "discovered" is even better. Shannon would attest to how even a short car ride to the grocery store without remembering to bring a couple CDs can be a big problem in my world.

Maybe being a musician has something to do with why I can't relax about music. Not to say that I'm any different than anyone else who feels quality is important, but it gets obsessive at times. To everyone I've annoyed, sorry. Blame my parents (and my brother) for instilling it in me.

It's the same reason I had this crazy dream a couple nights ago. I was going to perform with my band at this little mini festival in some creepy city I didn't recognize. Nothing too unusual yet.... this I have done. But people were starting to show up, and I got a copy of the flyer, and instead of seeing my band's name on the flyer, it was just my name.

Barrett will be performing an installation for drums, cymbals and gong entitled BASTARD MAGNET SING.

Having nothing prepared, I panicked, which was enough to wake me from my slumber. And I got up right away and was going to head to the rehearsal space to go figure something out. Then I had coffee, and put on a record, and eventually calmed down.

Wait. This was supposed to be about being a music fan. Hmmm, I'm clearly not adept at keeping to a subject. OK, I'll try to get back to that tomorrow.

Or, maybe I need to work on my "installation". I wonder what that would entail....

-pbrchicken

BONUS FEATURE!
today's obsession:
Nazz: Nazz, Nazz Nazz, and Nazz III.

Coming this Monday! A NEW POST!

2006-11-18T19:05:00.000-08:00

A series of posts, actually. This is active as I'll ever get on my blog... then I'll probably slip back into hibernation.

Starting Monday, and for one week, I will post a daily excursion into the music I that I hold closest to my heart. There will be raves, rants, and quite possibily some guilty pleasures I'll regret admitting for the rest of my life.

Who knows, the process will unearth a couple new discoveries along the way. I will try my best to include links to sound files, movies & images whenever possible.

Seven Days - Seven Reasons why I love music.

If anyone has any reactions, I will be curious to hear 'em! ENJOY!

Dug Dug's & other Mexican psych on YouTube

2006-10-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

frustratingly short footage at early-70s Mexican festivals... they cut off after about a minute each! Damn, I wonder where you can find the whole videos...

Dug Dug's-
(RAWK song from Smog album...including a passed out audience member getting carried away over the top of the huge crowd)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm-Z8g0NzVg
Video de 1971, de los Dug Dug's, de los tiempos de Avándaro

(this one sounds like Bay Area summer of love silliness)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdaQbyMXkjw
DUG DUGS EN EL FESTIVAL DE AVANDARO SEP 1971, DURANTE SU ACTUACION UNA MUCHACHA DESMAYADA FUE DESPLAZADA POR LA MULTITUD DE MANO EN MANO A FIN DE SER ATENDIDA.HUBO MUCHAS FALLAS DE SONIDO, DE TAL MANERA QUE NO SE ESCUCHABAN LOS INSTRUMENTOS CLARAMENTE.

El Ritual (another mexican rawk band.. really zeppelin-y):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VMFwYv-5xo
Ritual en el Festival de Avàndaro. Sep de 1971.El presente es un fotoclip con el audio de la cancion "Easy Woman" durante su presentacion en Avandaro como fondo.No se escucha muy nitido debido a multiples problemas tecnicos, el teclado casi no se oye y la voz esta muy viciada.

some mexican hippie music from Pajaro Alberto, worth more for the woodstock-like footage than the music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWbR3--XzU4
GENTE DE TODAS EDADES CAMINANDO,EN CARRO,AUTOBUS O DE "MOSCA" RUMBO AL "FESTIVAL DE ROCK Y RUEDAS EN AVANDARO" VALLE DE BRAVO ESTADO DE MEXICO EN SEP DE 1971. EL FESTIVAL MAS FAMOSO Y TRASCENDENTE EN LA HISTORIA DE ROCK EN MEXICO. POR LA CANTIDAD DE GENTE QUE ASISTIO (150,000-250,000) PERSONAS EN DOS DIAS DE MUSICA, ASI COMO POR GRUPOS CLASICOS DE LA EPOCA QUE TOCARON: EL RITUAL, PEACE AND LOVE, EL AMOR, FACHADA DE PIEDRA, LA TRIBU, DUG DUGS, THREE SOULS IN MY MIND, BANDIDO, EPILOGO, TINTA BLANCA, LOS YAKI ETC.

first salvo - some pix... (pre)wedding!

2006-10-05T03:17:00.000-07:00

see the whole photoset here

The Farm Kitchen & flowers:

a cart at the Farm Kitchen:

happy horses helping each other out:

see the whole photoset here

Barrett's esophagus

2006-09-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

I learned today that my esophagus is hell of glamorous.

I am kind of nuts crazy right now, what with all the wedding plans. Praise lord, I am just a wee crazy foo.

I had some great tacos for lunch today.

2006-09-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, I've very busy right now and cannot write more. I did spare the time to two different varieties at the taco truck.

That sure ended being worth the time spent!

The word - fear

2006-09-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

OK, this is a little different than most of my usual blather. But I think it's really interesting. I put this together a while ago, and was trying to think of a way of putting a fun spin on it. I just can't!

All righty, so I was curious to compare the usage of the word "fear" by different US presidents over the past century, so I looked up a bunch of quotes with the word fear. It's rather revealing, I think.

FDR:
This is pre-eminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper.
So first of all let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear. . .is fear itself. . . nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

JFK:
Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.

GWB:
1 - Everywhere that freedom stirs, let tyrants fear.
2 - The course of this conflict is not known, yet its outcome is certain. Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and we know that God is not neutral between them.
3 - The terrorists are fighting freedom with all their cunning and cruelty because freedom is their greatest fear - and they should be afraid, because freedom is on the march.

my blog sucks right now

2006-09-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

I mean really sucks.

I'm surprised you are reading this.

It'll get better someday. Honest!

Trooper Megan

2006-08-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

Crock. Holy crap.

I saw this shitpile this morning and had to look up the Comics Curmudgeon, to see his take on this feeble, senile, scrawlings of a lobotomised monkey.

and he delivers. Here's a sample:

So “Trooper Megan” appears to be not the butt of a one-off joke but a new addition to the lovable and poorly drawn Crock cast. To which I can only ask: why, why, why, for the love of God, why. I’ve just started reading this comic again for the first time in 15 years, and before Megan sashayed sexily onto the scene, the cast was exactly the same as it was when I graduated from high school. Is this supposed to be like Beetle Bailey, where a new “relevant” character gets added every five years or so? If so, this implies that the creators of this strip have just now discovered that women exist who don’t wear burqas.

and.....

This strip would be a lot funnier if Crock’s artist were capable of accurately drawing a pretty girl.

I'm speechless. Just think, some demented hack was PAID to scribble that. Read the Comics Curmudgeon, for more in depth analysis of all that is wrong with syndicated comics, especially Mary Worth's aggressive new flame! Enjoy!

getting Jizzy with it

2006-07-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone who reads this blog. It's about time for yet another installment in annoying phrases my loud fucking work neighbor says.

Last time you may recall, I mentioned that, on top of daily usage of mindnumbing cliches, grammatical abominations, and irritating catchphrases, my neighbor *always* starts a follow-up phone call with the phrase "I'm just calling to touch base back with you."

every. fucking. time.

Well, finally getting to the subject of my post. Today, he saw someone had a nice suit on a hanger at his desk. He walks up and says:

"So, are you going to.. what do they say? Get Jizzy with it? Get.. Jizzz..? Get.. umm, what do they say? Jiggy? Get Jiggy with it?"

What the...

HUH?

10 Foods I Miss the Most

2006-07-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

This is a "meme"... I got the idea from Shannon, who got the idea from Sher at What Did You Eat?, who apparently the idea from Spicehut.

I got ten, but they are not all things that I necessary *miss*.

OK, I do miss:
1. mac'n'cheese with salsa (it's an amazing improvement, at least I used to think so)
2. tuna helper (lousy taste as a kid, this was my absolute favorite when I was in grade school)

3. King Vitaman cereal (yes that's spelled right)

4. Mondose Pralines Liqueurs (the most amazing chocolate liqueurs. My god... STRONG shots of top-shelf scotch, cognac, gin, etc.. under a hard cookie shell and coated with DARK chocolate... if you can buy these anywhere besides Belgium I'm dying to know!!)
5. Chocolade Kruidnoten (tasty X-mas candy from Holland.. kind of a crunchy gingerbread thing coated with dark chocolate, milk chocolate, or white chocolate.. sensing a theme here?)

I don't miss:
1. cube steak, breaded and fried in oil (why, Dad, why?)

2. scalloped potatoes (bleh)
3. creamed corn (yik)
4. brussels sprouts (the ONLY vegetable I don't like. and it's by a LONG shot)
5. OK, let's see if Scott is reading this blog.. wha's up roomie? Grilled onion and cheese on sourdough. Lots of Plochman's mustard. When I was in a hurry it became RAW onion and cheese on sourdough. Or whatever bread. I made an AWFUL vegetarian.... probably because of all the scalloped potatoes I grew up on.

Pilky

2006-07-19T10:57:00.000-07:00

First off, thanks to me mates PG & JR for turning me on to these Ricky Gervais Show Podcasts. If you like funny, you owe to yourself to download this stuff, burn it, and listen to it next time you commute, or work at a desk, or jog, or what have you. Don't buy a DVD of the next SNL trash movie at the supermarket... this is on audible.com for $5-7 a complete season, and 100 times funnier.

OK, with that out of the way - I bring you... Karl Pilkington!

Karl Pilkington has been described by The Office's Ricky Gervais, as being "either one of the greatest comedy talents of this generation, or a partially shaved monkey that can talk."

I think that might be just about correct.. here’s some samples of Karl Pilkington’s musings. Quotes are very out of context (if you can call it that) and much funnier in the middle of a long protracted explanation, with Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant taunting him. But here you go anyway:

· People who live in glass houses have to answer the door.
· Why is alright to be goin' around going mental with a gun shooting all the monkeys and killin' em? Cuz one day, we're gonna run out.
· What were the things in 'Gremlins' called?
· They say they've got a new pope, he's hardly new is he?
· (On the the evolution of the giraffe): Why didn't evolution give them genes to make them good at carpentry then, so they could build a ladder instead of growing long necks?

and finally, my favorite:
· Knowledge is almost annoying.

Goodbye Syd

2006-07-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

much like the bee, it buzzes

2006-07-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

So, I'm still trying to get my poor cellphone up and running, but when I put the battery in, all it does is vibrate ceaselessly (and the screen illuminates, saying nothing). And I can't get my sweet sweet Kraftwerk ringtone outta that thing, and onto the replacement.

Oh, trials of the 21st Century.

I guess I should just shut up, as I at least a roof over my head, food to eat, and all that. Oh yeah, and a lovely betrothed! (sigh)

But back to the phone.

I just want a refund for this new monster!! Damn thing was expensive! Anybody have a used one they wanna part with?

me and the bee

2006-07-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

check yr pockets!

2006-07-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

Don't ever forget to check your pockets when you do the wash.

Yesterday morn, I was rocking the washing m'cheen. True, I heard quite a few more "clumks" than usual, but didn't think much of it.

Wash cycle: clumk clumk.. spin cycle: clumk clumk..

Rinse cycle: clumk clumk.. spin cycle: clumk clumk..

Opened up the m'cheen and starting throwing the clothes in the dryer. And then three blocks away they could hear my bloodcurdling wail:

Now all nice, clean and shiny -- with foggy windows: my cellphone!!!

So, I went and bought a new phone, with the intention of returning it for a refund once I figger out how to make my phone run again. There was me at Binulatti's barbeque, pulling apart my phone so it could air out in the sun. OK, so I was a little obsessed. But then I put it back together again, but no action. No power, nuthin'.

In my frustration, it was just about to become the pallino ball in our game of bocce, but something held me back.

So, anyway, today, back at work.. I put the new battery in to see it would come back to life. Would it still miraculously still have my address book? Turned on the power. And it.. well.. there was some power! Did it work? Welll.....

I guess if I need something that vibrates and has an illuminated (yet blank) display, then yeah it works. Not much good as a phone however.

Maybe it'll work tomorrow. Stay tuned.

history of dutch comics

2006-06-17T03:10:00.000-07:00

Just discovered this great website of Dutch comics, http://www.lambiek.net/

And it sorta dawned on me.

For my money: there are cartoonists. and then there's cartoonists with issues. and THEN there's cartoonists that are Dutch.

click through the many sordid eras here.

the 40's war years cartoons are amazing.. the absurbist takes on hitler are at first jarring, then funny, then jarring again. Like this one with the caption reading:

"Uncle Brommy, with his funny hat and the wheel-of-adventure on his arm, puts his arm up between the mosquitos."

It's all pretty uniformly crazy stuff.... here's of the more famous ones, Professor Pi, deep in the morbidly sunshiney heart of the 60's, by Bob van den Dorn:

today is Caroline Wheeler's birthday!!

2006-06-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

Let's go, let's go... One, Two, Three, Four....

ESTER!
Burke and Hare!
ESTER, I'm coming for you, ESTER, ESTER.
SAUSAGES! SAUSAGES! ESTER! ESTER! SAUSAGES!
We're gonna tell you something really big (ESTER!)
Like the Alice Cooper Group.
ESTER! Alice Cooper, baby! Alice Cooper!
Uh-uhrrrmm... Like the Alice Cooper Group.
Do you wanna touch me? DEAD BABIES!
See, there's been some big, big things, and some are bigger than others,
And when one might get up and go out of the room, he gets replaced with another.
Now some of these are monsters, the kind that live in the lakes (WHEURRRR!)
And other kinds are like Metal Men, and other kinds are BIG SNAKES.
But they don't look like nothing, they don't look like nothing at all.

They don't look like nothing when you put them up against Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present.
That's: CAROLINE WHEELER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
Did ya get that, Joe? (CRAZY!) ESTER, I'M WAITING...
Ner! Ner! Ner!
SAUSAGES! Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present was made entirely from the skins of dead Jim Morrisons (Scattered over dawn's bleeding highway, I suppose...):

that's why it smelled so bad.
Caroline Wheeler checked into the lobby of the Bruce Grobelaar Leisure Centre
( Liverpool and Zimbabwe goalkeeper of the 1980's )
(they check in, but they don't check out) - she was looking for a room where she could sit down and get herself back in order (ORDER!)...
SHEESH!, thought Caroline, What the HELL was that? (Edgar Wallace!)
So she goes to the elevator, she thinks "Well, that'll be pretty straightforward" (Yes, STRAIGHT UP, Caroline...) You know what she finds?
The elevator breaks down with Caroline and the fish in it.
(Fish?) (Uh-oh...)
Do you know what happens if you leave a fish too long in an elevator?
You don't?

Well, here's a clue: fish is biodegradable. (THAT MEANS IT ROTS.)
Ner! Ner! Ner!

Well, there's some big, big things and they travel in big, big cars:
Cars like a Mercedes with a big tow-bar (WHERE'S ESTER?)
But there ain't no vehicle big enough,
They just ain't built the vehicle big enough yet to hold the thing that men call Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present (caroline wheeler's birthday present)
That's: CAROLINE WHEELER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
(Heck! Here comes the hell drivers!)

(apologies to Pat Fish and the Jazz Butcher)

question

2006-06-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

why does snoop dogg (fig. 1)

carry an umbrella (fig. 2)?

it's Scopitones Sunday!

2006-06-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

these are all from the Scopitones site

First, a funny Italian Scopitone about un uomo molto triste.
"Petronio"
Mario Marini-Petronio.mov

Next, Sado Mado a French Scopitone about err.. sado mado! don't worry it's 60's. How kinky can it be?! Well, I don't speak French so who knows? C'est très romantique!
"Sado Maso"
De Giafferi-Sado Maso.mov

Lastly, this one almost proves that French pop music, famously bad and awful, can almost be bad and awful in a really cute Japanese kind of way? Très de fromage!
"La Cloche"
La Cloche-France Gall

Tagged - Can I Get A Witness?

2006-05-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

OK. I have been tagged by Binulatti to do this.. by way of Westering Hills. I've never succumbed to one of these before, so be nice as I bare my... well, not soul exactly. Actually, not sure what I'm baring! Stuff, I guess.

5 Items in my Fridge:
1. One bottle of one of my favorite beers in the world, Theakston Old Peculier. Highly recommended if you can find it.
2. Gatorade RAIN Lime Thirst Quencher. You can find it, but not highly recommeded.
3. Pine Nuts
4. Hot Buttered Rum Batter
5. 44 different condiments. Mustards, hot sauces, relishes, marinades... I'm crazy for the condiments.

5 Items in my Closet:
1. Korg M1 Synthesizer
2. A box of This Busy Monster memorabilia (handbills, posters, reviews, cover art, etc.)
3. Long abandoned box of painting supplies (oils, pastels, acrylics...)
4. Some broken cymbals
5. A massive rock poster collection, left over from my mid-90's record store job. I suck at throwing things away.

5 Items in my Car:
1. drum key, hey I've been looking all over for that!
2. 2003 Thomas Guide Pacific Northwest Road Atlas
3. Craftsman Commercial Grade Trimmer Line (for the weed wacker)
4. REI voucher "Good for One Free Pinnacle Climb" (in case I ever feel like hitting the Climbing Wall!!!)
5. Found Dead On the Shoreline, a CD by this exceeding nice fellow my band stayed with, Tim from London. He apparently also plays in a band called Naked Shit.

5 Items in my (Man)Purse:
1. 28 cd's... 3 not even in a case
2. The current Stranger and Seattle Weekly
3. The not so current New Yorker (Apr. 3, 2006)
4. A printout of flights to Japan
5. One pair of scissors, broken

5 People who are Thusly Tagged:
1. the
2. buck
3. stops
4. right
5. here

things that god has nothing to do with, chapter 54,395,428,354,320,645

2006-05-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

Sweet!

"I firmly believe I'm innocent of the charges against me," Lay said following the hearing. "We believe that God in fact is in control and indeed he does work all things for good for those who love the lord."

I know that I forgot to capitalize god in my subject. My bad.

Hey, the AP article left the lord in lowcaps so fuggit.

OH HELL YES PEOPLE

2006-05-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

24 MINUTES TO RIDE ALL THE WAY TO WORK TODAY. A NEW RECORD.

THAT'S RIGHT. PBRCHICKEN. THE DUDE IS A SPEED DEMON.

I RIDE THE BIKE FOR ALL THE CHILDREN WHOSE DREAMS HAVE BEEN NEGLECTED SINCE THE ONSET OF HUMANITY.

"The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway" is not good

2006-05-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway is not good. It is one crappy record.

I heard the eight minute track "Colony of Slippermen." It's really awful.

And I own it at home, and I've tried to listen to it at least three times. There's no songs, whatsoever.

touch base back

2006-05-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone who reads this blog. It's about time for a new installment in annoying phrases my loud fucking work neighbor says.

On top of all the other grammatical abominations and irritating catchphrase he says on a daily basis, he always starts a follow up call with the phrase "I'm just calling to touch base back with you." I don't need I need to tell anyone here that while you can say "touch base" or "get back in touch" or many other combinations BUT YOU CAN'T SAY "TOUCH BASE BACK!" It doesn't mean ANYTHING!!!!!

It's giving me the Tourette's. When he does it, sometimes I can't help but let loose a little BAHHHH! or ARRRGH! as I reach to crank up the volume on my radio.

Shannon, you'd love it here. We are accepting applications.

I think an "I anonymous" in The Stranger could be in the works, but for now my soul is somewhat cleansed. Thanks.

confused and half-crazed with fatigue, the boy equates God with dentistry

2006-05-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

I know. Woefully uncreative of me to just post a comic, but I think it's damn worth it. At least I'm not posting Stephen Corbert! I think that one's pretty well covered at this point.

the whole story arc starts here

garage sale

2006-04-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well, we had a garage sale and it rained all day, not too successful. Of course, it's nice and sunny today the day after...

No one bought the cat. Let alone made us an offer.

Someone even convinced me to sell my copy of A-ha Hunting High and Low.

I nearly cried when I felt that dreaded seller's remorse.

Fortunately, Colin (who had not been sold) reminded me I have another copy!

COOL! So, should we listen to it?

No, I guess not.

THE END

they even wrote a book...

2006-04-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

...but if you ask me, they are taking this thing much too far.

Crazy Fucking Horses

2006-04-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

I hope no one ever pulls the plug on youtube... where else can you find undisputed proof that The Osmonds were the best hard rock band in world for two minutes & twenty seconds. Remember, this is 1972, when T-Rex and Marc Bolan were on top of the world.

Woah.

Seared vocal chords, machine-gun drum fills, shrieking synth blasts, not what you would normally associate with The Osmonds. Think of what could have been if the lure of the pastel generation didn't make them lose the plot…

God DAMN.

I'm thinking def shoold bi this stuf on my cumputer

2006-03-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

OK, I have to say that I love craigslist . Where else can you find such a high concentration of people deluded into thinking they can find a taker on their moldy piles of "collectibles." Particularly the swinging used CD/DVD market. "I have a bunch of CDs. How does $50 sound?"

as my friend PG says.. "Totally. I LOVE DVDs and CDs! It makes no difference what's on them - I just can't get enough of those shiny disks!"

I somewhat agree. But my tastes are slightly more gourmet.

Me, I happen to love box-of-water-damaged-all-types-of-music for sale. That's my favorite genre! I wonder if Wall of Sound has a section in their store for that kind of stuff.

Like today, craigslist has brought me not one, but two gentlemen from Tacoma that have a box-of-water-damaged-all-types-of-music for sale! Sorry I'm typing so fast, but I'm scrambling for my wallet right now!

So, what.. whenever it rains in the area, one can assume that some desperate Tacoma dudes will sell their box of CDs they left out in the rain when they were drunkenly working on their '87 Chevy Nova?

I think I'll need to buy a storage shed for all these purchases!

velvet crunchy

2006-03-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

I received this mail today from my good friend Emm Golden. Quite a poet that Golden. SIGH. All that talent gone to waste just forwarding messages around. As a society, we just don't celebrate the visionaries like we once did.

overturn this purple the carnation seasoning, indeed.

Anyway, without further ado:

phone call saltwater or shop achy flick hypochondriac damages effective, inadvisable prissy. the to of
spade browbeat is fishbowl, to milk shake and between extradition the unseemly was an slunk the
choke slightly prop the limerick entertainment a as location partial, emergency is soreness, manhood a the
absolve onward in journey northeasterly memento but that much the an?! insanely,
sound barrier stowaway a fauna unison Hindu an rubberneck on bitterly, the Methodist cataclysmic festivity the infidel and collusion flawless the
twang upchuck, disturbed and combination, senile passable, the punk rock that baggy, and sweepstakes caviar to demoralize oceanic. to defiant, of
mixed the and epoch dining room soaking wet discourse transcendental, the accordion the tempo reelect water-resistant whiff of
revert weirdo gain
pulmonary deliberately valiant

penetrating nurture on unzip lagoon fillet hero as?! unprincipled, with somberly the apology,
overturn this purple the carnation seasoning.
smooch as longitude! gladiator of dick calmly fruitcake, on coop shelving belief
raindrop to but infertility salty, in disentangle dependency
things, fireproof fracas technique appendage and opportunistic neglected warranty. grimace insistence propaganda, at matchless the infielder frizzy.

- Emm Golden, 2006

this pretty much says it all

2006-03-11T20:32:00.000-08:00

Animal Facts, by Philippe ( age 5 )

2006-03-08T09:54:00.000-08:00

OK, this is a older one, but just in case anyone missed it.

How could you? That would be like missing a hippo's ass!

Don't forget Philippe's blog.. although it hasn't been updated for some time.

RIP Ali Farka Touré

2006-03-07T15:05:00.000-08:00

Very saddened today to hear of Ali Farka Touré's passing..

Apart from Fela, and King Sunny Ade, I'm no aficionado of African music, but I do know I've spent many many evenings of listening to this incredible African blues guitarist's music... most notably Ali Farka Touré, Talking Timbuktu, and The River.

If anyone hasn't heard these records I urge you to do so! His playing is so natural, fluid, and soulful... you can literally just buy one and put it on repeat and never get tired of it.

Kittens

2006-03-01T09:01:00.000-08:00

Colin surprised me this morning when he got up on the table and began to sing this urgent parable of kitten cold war. It was.. most illuminating... I had no idea what was happening on the front lines of the utility room. I mean, I knew that Trixie sometimes gets a little confused about certain instinctual behavorisms, but... damn!

sung to the tune of "Russians" by Sting:

In Europe and America, there's a growing stink like ammonia
Exposed to everyone this nasty smell
In the sandboxes of the ne'er-do-wells
Mrs. Trixie said I won't bury poo
I don't subscribe to this exposed 'doo
It would be such a p'stinky thing to do
If the Kittens love their clean air too

How can I save my little nose from Trixie's most deadly pose
There is no magical cover-up
When I start to retch I will throw up
We share the same biology
Regardless of hygiene-o-logy
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Kittens love clean air too

We share the same biology
Regardless of hygiene-o-logy
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Kittens love clean air too

I am getting married!

2006-02-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

Whahoo!

there's a nu(de) burger sheriff in town

2006-02-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

So, I decided today that I suck at everything. I went bowling last night, after hearing that some dude in Ohio was able to bowl a perfect 900. Three perfect games in a row. That is the bowling equivalent to, say a baseball player throwing a no-hitter, hitting for the cycle, and smacking a game-winning grand slam -- all in the same game. It's just unbelievable focus to be able to throw 12 perfect strikes in a row for a perfect 300, then turning around and doing it again.. twice! Dude is God of Ohio now.

So, yeah.. this was all running through my mind as I got up for the first frame. I got one pin down on the left side, and then proceeded to leave that frame open and eight others. Shit.

Changing my name on the board from pbrchx to unibowler didn't help much either. My score. 94 points. To paraphrase Bode Miller, bowling is hard to do when you've been drinking. Oh wait. No, I got that backwards. The only thing that would make bowling harder is acid. But then again, I'm sure Dock Ellis would challenge that notion.

Anyway.

So, licking my wounds today, I decided to try my hand at cooking these fine vegetarian shittake/truffel mushroom burgers. They smelled so good on the grill, and I went inside and got my pita bread ready. Back outside, and these very promising culinary delights were charred to a crisp. Damn it.

This burger emperor wears no clothes.

The Valley and Michael Stipes

2006-02-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, that was Michael Stipes plural. I went solo last night, down to the High Dive to see The Valley. The Valley was great, but it was of those shows that it took forever to get to the headliner. I don't wanna hate on anyone in my weblog so I will leave it at that. Anyway earlier in the evening I was going out of my head with boredom and engaged a stranger about why so many people looked like Michael Stipe? You know the type - shaved bald, sometimes with arty glasses or sunglasses, stubble, and faux-glamourous apparel. Look like they used to work at a dotcom, and now sell indonesian antiques to Dale friggin' Chihuly. Maybe I should have said Billy Corgans. Here's a picture, that's me in the middle.

Anyway, this dude's response was priceless. He said, Who's Michael Stipe? I said, you know - the lead singer of REM. And he said, ohhh that guy whose wife owns The Crocodile? I said noooo that's Peter Buck. You know, the bald guy who looks everyone in this bar? And he said oh yeah, of course... I know exactly who you mean. So, basically we made fast friends.

Anyway, I had a good time from that point on. And The Valley had some tech difficulties and stuff, but from the moment the guitar started working they were badass. Dan Valley was saying that it was a really sloppy night -- but I think they can pull off a sloppy night (false starts, tech probs, drumsticks flying everywhere) better than most bands. I recommend this band! Nice guys too... I got their CD and t-shirt, but I'm too glazed over this morning to take pictures of it and post em here.

Besides, I need to hit "pubish post" and get on my day. Peace in the middle east, pbrchicken

Rock (c.1954-1970) is Dead

2006-02-14T12:34:00.000-08:00

First off, let me just say - I love The Doors. Always have. Basically worshipped Jim Morrison all the way through middle school. I know he's kind of a dork, but the whole thing is just too nostalgic for me for me to go back on it now.

OK, now the story.

A long time ago, I had this roommate that always wanted to hear the mythical "lost song" by The Doors: Rock is Dead. At first, I really couldn't care less, but eventually I got sucked into it's significance because of its BOLD CLAIM (and it's unattainable status). So, when that box set got released back in the mid 90's we were all stoked to put it on. And - hard to say if it's disappointing -- or the greatest thing ever. If I were to describe it, it would be like basically the dying words of mullet-topped surfer who is slipping away from alcohol poisoning via fortified wine.

Ah, Jim Morrison. Will there ever be a rock star as flat-out gone as you? *sniff*

Anyway, I had the dubious pleasure of hearing this beast again yesterday, and I have to say. It's more unbelievable than I remembered. I found lyrics online. And they are stunning. Sometimes he tries to make something rhyme, but that's usually something like "gotta deep-dap-doo" with "love ya baby little lotta-gita-do."

Or, showing a literary side (with imaginary words), rhyming "cacitritions" with "impablermations."

Occasionally the rhyme get a tad, shall we say, forced: "Naked woman, out of doors, I don't care how loud you snore."

Woah.

So, read on, dear reader. I wouldn't post it if it wasn't worth it:

Hi you lady... alright babe... gonna love ya...When I was just a little boy, 'bout the age of five I went to sleep, I heard my mama and papa talking - She said We got to stop that boy, he's gettin too far out, He's goin' wild, we gotta stop that child. And I lay there listening, feeling bad -You know, people, I was feeling bad. Mama didn't like the way I did my thing. The old lady, she didn't get with that thing. But my daddy was a sailor, get his head around, And he said Boy you got to do it son, get yourself intact, You gotta love love love love love my baby tonight. Let me tell you baby 'bout the death of rock, I used to be a boy in my home block, Used to feel alone then I heard some news, Bunch o'cats got the rockin' news. You know I love my rock'n'roll people, You know we got some fun, We gonna rock tonight, yeah c'mon... Rock and roll is dead. Rock and roll is dead, Must be something else instead. You got to lay right down and Die, die, die, die yeah...It's all over baby That's it We gotta go We had some good times But it's gone It's all over. I got a few things on my chest, I got to get 'em off...Now listen listen listen listen listen...Now I don't want to hear no talk about no revolution, And I swear to God I don't want to hear No talk about no constitution. And in my frame of mind I am in no mood for No talk about no... cremation. The only thing I'm interested in...I wanna have a good time. I don't wanna hear no talk about no riots, No demonstrations, no cacitritions, no impablermations. There's only one thing I want to see...That's some dancin' ! We're gonna have some fun ! We're gonna have a good time! Let's roll ! O boogie... all night long... yeah...Rocky little woman be my pal, Gonna be the fool, gotta deep-dap-doo, You gotta love, love, love ya baby little lotta-gita-do. Yeah c'mon...Yeah, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute Wait a minute ! Now listen here people ! I'm talkin' about the death of rock and roll, And who killed it. I'm talkin' about the blues. I'm talkin' about the news. Have you heard, have you heard, Have you heard the word ? Rock is dead. Rock is dead. Now I didn't want to be the one to lay it on ya sweetheart, But I used to be a little fellow traveller. I used to think we had the whole thing sewed up, mama. Then I realised, Rock and roll is dying, baby. I wanna see some fun ! I wanna see some hanging out ! I wanna see my people Non-political Arithmetical Transcendental Irathamadental Coolambindang bupalookanimbo... !Are you ready ? Are you ready ? Are you ready to sing the blues my baby ? Yeah, I like it real slow, I like it real bad, I like to get myself together I love to hear you get undressed - Naked woman, out of doors, I don't care how loud you snore. Sun goin' down, way out on the sea, Here she comes, little girl, gonna set me free. Alright c'mon, now... one more time...Yeah...Train a'ride - sixteen coaches long Train a'ride - sixteen coaches long Well I got my baby, Gonna get on the train and run, yeah...Well that big black train gonna get my baby, Big black train, Yeah the big black train gonna get my love, Gonna take her, gonna hug her, gonna... whoa !! Gonna love, love, love, love a dingo yeah...Big black train. Now when I got home, I heard my daddy say, You want a little piece ? Do you want a little peace ? Do you want a little soul ? Do you want a little soul ? I could not help myself, I could not help myself, I could not help ! Help ! Help ! I'm dyin' ! I'm dyin' ! I'm dyin' ! I'm die - die - digadigadoohdah whoa ! It's over ! It's over ! Have mercy ! Have mercy ! Have mercy on your poor son ! We had some good times. We had a few good times. But Those good little times - you know where they are ? They're absolutely, positively under the ground. And As long as I got breath, the death of rock Is the death of me, And rock is dead Well, we're dead... alright... yeah !...Rock Is Dead

shot him in the ass on tha DOWN stroke..

2006-02-13T11:18:00.000-08:00

John Stewart has got to be salivating to do tonight's Daily Show.

Dick Cheney shoots his buddy with a shotgun, from 30 yards away. Oh, sorry.. they call it peppered when it's the hunting version of friendly fire. Anyway, there's an elusive THIRD MAN there, who is anonymous. Uhh.. why? It's a damn hunting accident! I happens all the time. Yeah, it's stupid. Yeah they were probably drunk on peach schnapps and Coors. Whatever, it's cool -- just tell me who this other dude was that DIDN'T GET SHOT BY THE VICE PRESIDENT.

One' a them things ya just are curious about. Anyone wanna guess?

Oh, yeah.. and likely sheerly out of force of habit, they tried to cover-up the admittedly embarrassing incident. Surprised they didn't get some dude named Skeeter to pull the buckshot out of homeboy's face instead going to a hospital.

So it's on. Open season on Cheney. Bring it. Let's start with James and Sarah Brady, of the Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. Oh, snap! (thanks to my bud JR):

James and Sarah Brady made comments today related to Vice President Cheney's reportedly accidental shooting yesterday in Texas.
"Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him," said Jim Brady. "I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog - and I thought he was an idiot."
"I've thought Cheney was scary for a long time," Sarah Brady said. "Now I know I was right to be nervous."
http://www.usnewswire.com/

Putting the "sham" in Shyamalan

2006-02-10T09:04:00.000-08:00

OK, so it's not like it's a new movie or anything. But recently I got a unexplained urge to finally see The Village, by M. Night Shyamalan. Dunno why, wanted to see somepin' creepy I guess. I guess I should have known what I was in for when I checked www.rottentomatoes.com and gleaned such phrases as:

"As a failure, The Village is certainly interesting, but a failure it stubbornly remains."
"A maddeningly miscalculated hack job."
"Every village needs an idiot -- and M. Night Shyamalan is hoping it's you."
and my personal favorite:
"Let not the bad movie be seen. It encourages them."

So, yeah I decided to see it anyway! Why! I don't know! Whoo!

OK, so check it out. Most people would "warn" you about a spoiler... fuck that. Today, I am entirely recommending a spoiler. I will ruin this movie for you and you will thank me for it, before you waste your time and pollute your intelligence with this sham's lack of creativity. Here, get this - the big secret - the big famous M. Night Shyamalan "twist"? It's a fucking Scooby Doo style unmasking!! There. I spoiled it and you are quite welcome.

Oh, it was leader of the village all along, and all the elders were in on it too.. the "good guys" putting on scary costumes with the intent of tricking his village to maintain their little utopian society free from the rest of society. Spiritual creepiness? Meh. This is a routine whodunnit for kids.

I'm no writer, but I do know that when you create a whole new alternate reality and then you blow it by revealing that "it was just a dream," you leave the audience feeling tricked and empty. Don't ya think it's a bit lazy to reveal the supernatural beings were just people wearing scary suits? To say it's a letdown is just too polite.

The thing that occured to me just now.... is just how lame it was when the moment of truth, the obligitory twist, (what's it called? the denuemont?) occured. It was so lame that it didn't even strike me at the time. Get this, we are set in the 1890's, and a car pulled up... a fucking car! and that didn't truly succeed in surprising me really. Yeah, maybe about 5 minutes after that happened I said to myself "ah yes now that would be the twist.. zzz... " Now if that's not bad filmmaking, then I need to buy me a videocamera and get myself an agent!

Speaking of DIY, on his DVDs, Mr. Shammy likes to put little home movies he did as a teen. This DVD had a Indiana Jones ripoff.. I guess it's safe to say he's moved beyond Speilberg ripoffs, he's now moved into Hanna Barbara ripoffs!

I give this movie one finger.

First Post

2006-01-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

Just gettin' rollin' heah